Some trans people take a examine this site gently gently approach. They are unsure and so will try a small dose of oestrogen to start off with, or cross dress and see how it goes. Others will want to go out as soon as possible. Transition doesn’t happen overnight. It is a long process.
It is NEVER okay for a partner to lie, cheat, abuse (emotionally, physically or mentally) you. That is NOTHING to do with being transgender. That is just your partner being an A**hole. Being transgender is not an excuse to be horrible (and likewise it is not an excuse for you to be horrible either). I don’t think so.
Transgender people are NOT horrible and nasty by nature (some people say selfish in general). If you have a bad experience that does not make ALL transgender people bad.
My partner and I don’t have children. I have talked to a few transgender people who’ve had children and mostly children under about 10 don’t care too much. I don’t know about teenagers… I can’t really comment.
I can however speak as a child of divorce. Please don’t think that staying together “for the sake of the kids” is the best idea. I was so relieved when my parents finally divorced. I was a teenager and they always argued.
It isn’t
If you leave your partner remember your kids still have a relationship with that parent even if you don’t want that relationship and even if you don’t want them to either. Don’t use your children to punish your partner and don’t let your partner punish you for leaving.
Then be prepared for it to be difficult but rewarding and awesome! You ily and friends either because they can’t accept it or it is too messy. Unless you have a lot of money accept the fact you will be not be flush for quite some time. Your partner may go through bouts of depression, start having teenage temper tantrums due to hormones, may loose their job and financial security. You will have to make yourself both physically and emotionally available to help your partner as much as possible. It is not a picnic and it will be very stressfull at times. And ultimately….. your relationship might fail in the end.
It isn’t all bad. If you have an accepting group of friends, are comfortable and secure enough within yourself, love your partner and can easily talk to them then you have a good chance. Not all work places are discriminatory and some may even pay for transition. Not every section of society will make a deal of it. My partner hasn’t lost any friends and I certainly haven’t either. I love some aspects of my partner being transgender. For example shopping and exploring new and exciting things together. Some couples can make it through and have it be positive and rewarding.
This is a really difficult question to answer. Your partner will need all the help that they can get. Every person is different and will need different things. I constantly ask myself this question as my partner gets very depressed. My only answer to this is: do the best you can and “you never know if you never go”.
If your partner wasn’t transgender would accept such poor behaviour
In an ideal world you would never need to worry about this. Unfortunately it is not the case. Most people will be (outwardly) fairly accepting. You will have some negative reactions. Some transgender people move to larger cities with bigger, more accepting and supportive communities- both trans and non trans.